


alone.

by hellshark



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Anxiety, Other, alucard is sad :(, netflix castlevania ending, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-27 02:37:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18295151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellshark/pseuds/hellshark
Summary: Everyone Alucard had ever loved had left him...why would his new companions be any different?





	alone.

**Author's Note:**

> hoi hoi! soz for the inactivity ... herez a quick vent fic i made i’ll try to be posting more often

Being alone in an empty castle with no one around gave Alucard a lot of time to think. Being depraved of a childhood, as most children were not half vampire and definitely did not have the Vlad Dracula as a father, left him to himself for the first few years of his life leaving him to take up reading and drawing instead of playing and socializing with those around his age. 

The very little social interaction he had gotten was mainly from his mother whenever she wasn’t helping someone out or doing research, and very rarely, but on occasion his father whenever he wasn’t traveling or partaking in reading or his studies. These circumstances caused him to grow up very fast and he learned very quickly the world isn’t a forgiving or easy place. 

Sitting alone in the infamous moving castle or wandering the halls without a reason wasn’t new to him, it was pratically his entire childhood. Doing every chore around the house himself or trying to entertain himself or finding food by his lonesome wasn’t new to him but this time that feeling of loneliness ripped its harsh fangs into him. He had felt the warmth of friendship for the very first time in his life only for him to let it go. It felt as if it was right out of his grasp. He blamed himself everyday for it. 

Sylpha and Trevor left him beause of who and how he was. He knew this when they left but did nothing to stop it. He could have gone with them, despite him not enjoying the thought of leaving his childhood castle ungaurded, he could have and he didn’t. He didn’t have to be alone. Be friendless. Have no one. He felt the feeling of being unworthy; no, he wasn’t alone because of circumstance but because of himself. The problem was him, not anyone around him, and blaming the world just hurt more than blaming himself. He could lie to himself and say he wished to be alone, enjoyed it even, but nothing could get rid of the pulling at his heart and want to rekindle with the two he spent the past few days with. 

They hadn’t come close to being friends, Sypha and Trevor had bonded quite a lot, but Alucard’s stubborn attitude and poison tongue caused him to drift away from the group and his disinterest in jokes or stories caused him to be an outcast. Left out from the group that had formed because of their mutual goal to kill his father, to complete his goal, a group that likely wouldnt have been formed without him. And yet, here he was. Sitting alone with not a person insight. 

Alucard was not a lonley person, at least not admittedly, but the topic had arised over his time spent with Sypha and Trevor. 

“Say, did you ever get lonley, living in that castle?” Sypha would ask one night while they sat around a fire. The dhampir pratically scoffed at the question. “Of course not. It’d be unfortunate if I did, given my circumstances.” He didn’t allow the topic to proceed and swiftly changed to another subject, hoping his icy and stoic exterior was not seen through. But, he does wonder from time to time how things would have been different if he had said yes. Would they have stayed with him in the castle, or mayhaps would they have all gone on an adventure together? These thoughts just end up hurting him more than he already is. 

Alucard gets up from the chair in front of the fire he commonly sits at and starts wandering the empty halls of the castle. He has no time for reminiscing on the past, he reminds himself. Not having any love him is better, afterall, then he could never hurt anyone again. That’s what he’d convince himself, at least. Lying to oneself about situations that cannot be changed is the easiest way to deal with things.

**Author's Note:**

> my interest in castlevania got rekindled lately .... prepare 4 moar 2 come
> 
> I <3 COMMENTZ !!!


End file.
